It’s a Father and Child Reunion…. (As Paul Simon said)
I’ve told you all in a previous blog post that I haven’t seen my son for approximately fourteen years. As you can imagine, it’s been a completely heartbreaking time.
Nearly killed me on several occasions. And this, together with my various illnesses, broke me as a man. And it took years for me to get my life back together. But I did, and the many bad experiences I’ve had have improved me as a person, as I have learnt so so much from them all. I believe I’m a much a better person than I was several years ago.
Anyway, I have an update to share with you all. I now have contact with my son!!!!! You can imagine how I now feel. We’ve only exchanged a couple of messages, and we are hopefully going to meet up in the near future, but it’s a massive breakthrough, after so many years apart.
There’s a chance it might not work out, but it’s a start, and I’m overjoyed. I’m still in total shock, as it’s only taken place over the last three days, so I have a lot of thinking to do, and a lot of emotions to process.
I’m going to meet him up north, in Manchester in a couple of weeks or so. Probably in a shopping centre, but I think we might then go to a park or something, to get away from the crowds and give us a bit of peace and quiet to talk by ourselves. I’m so incredibly nervous and I can’t even imagine how nervous I will be on the day. I might even go back to the cigarettes:)
Of course my main priority is my son’s wellbeing. I have found out that he has psychological issues, much as I had growing up, and I don’t want to make anything worse. He is the number one priority in all this. He must have a good life, and I need to do everything I can to make that happen. I just worry so much about him and his development.
Even though at times I thought I might never see him again in this lifetime, I always had hope. I always knew I was a good person, and that I would be rewarded some day. That belief has been tested a great deal over the years, but people around me have always been there for me, and reassured me that I am a kind and good person. I have needed plenty of reassurance, believe me. I was in a bad way for several years.
The struggles I had with social anxiety for many years have helped me to become the person I am today. I have studied and learnt a great deal about mental health disorders and how people think, and helping the people I help through my coaching has also taught me a great deal. I’m in a much better position to deal with meeting my son and dealing with his issues today, than I would have been a few years ago.
I’m just so incredibly happy and relieved at making contact again. At least he knows how I feel, and how I’ve been searching for him over the years. This has been an extremely personal post to write. I hope you enjoyed reading it.
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